I have found myself lately feeling "at home" in environments other than my own house. A feeling of self containment/comfort that doesn't require the familiar to make it happen. This detachment from the familiar may have always existed but I wasn't really aware of the "feeling" until a few months ago. This sense of detachment is very liberating on many fronts. 

A few years ago I created an outline for a book I wanted to write called "A Man's Guide to Unfinished Projects". I even went as far as to submit it to a publisher as an entry for a new writer's competition. I didn't place in the running and they wanted $75 for a critique (that I was not willing to spend) so I never found out if the idea had merit from a publishing perspective. The book's intent was to illustrate how easy it is to be stimulated by a project and how hard it often is to get it finished....

I find myself living more in a daydream state visualizing potential outcomes. I have always daydreamed but lately I have stepped it up a notch or two. I find the musings distracting at times-at other times fascinating. I have a tendency to get obsessed with certain themes-dive into contemplation and fact finding and either implement or move on satisfied I had at least explored the potential. 

Last spring a strong gust of wind hit my garage door and as a result of one of the cables becoming disconnected the garage door fell down and hit my bicycle that was parked in the doorway. The bike escaped unharmed but the door got twisted and would not ride correctly on the track after that. 

Over the past few days I have been "challenging" myself to live more in the moment and not fall into an "anticipatory" head space. Not an easy challenge and one at which I was only moderately successful. As stated in yesterday's blog entry my wife attended a murder mystery party last night which was creating a focal point for my anticipatory response (my favorite mental trap???) . In fact the build up was fairly intense which somewhat surprised me? The reasons were twofold: 1. Other than the hosts I knew none of the people at the party (who where for the most part good friends of the hosts) which "stimulated" my social anxiety response and 2. Being a murder mystery I was concerned at the "level" of participation and game playing that would be required. I did not want to put a bunch of effort into performing...It turned out my two concerns had no grounds for worry and any trepidation on my part was not warranted. I have to remind myself even though I may have feelings of trepidation going into social events they often turn out to be enjoyable experiences more often than not...last night was no exception. It was a bit of a stretch socially but well worth the effort. 

Tonite my wife and I are attending a murder mystery party. I have a character to play (a playboy type) -so I will need to work on my costume today ( I have most of it determined). It has been a while since we dressed up in costumes so it might be a fun experience. 

At the moment I am going through some old storage boxes I took out of my shed to see what I need to keep and what can be "recycled". One box contained receipts and income tax records from the 1980's plus employee performance review forms from my previous employer. Interesting things to sift through but I had to ask myself why I still have them? The reasoning actually escapes me at this time so I spent a few hours shredding the contents. I felt good about doing so in one hand (getting rid of clutter) but I was also a bit saddened that a "record" of my previous life is now gone. 

Standing on the corner

Over the past few days I have been cleaning out my garage in preparation for installing a gas fired overhead heater. I came to the conclusion this was the right direction to go in by "centering"  and determining I need the utility of a heated garage to move ahead on my sports car reconstruction. Given winter is so long around here I might as well have somewhere warm to work on my hobby. A good way to spend those cold winter days and evenings......Plus I get to utilize the government tax incentive for home improvement-excellent... 

A couple of days ago I saw the DVD "Word Play" a movie about an annual crossword puzzle tournament-the players, background, lead up etc. It was an amusing exploration of a subject I know little about. I personally have no interest in solving crossword puzzles (at least at this point in my life) but an interview during the movie a well know politician provided me with an interesting piece of information that I found valuable.