We are now stopped for the night-4900km's into our journey. Tomorrow we will be heading home after a short visit with family. The trip was cut a bit short-by about 5 days. Like horses at a riding stable once we realized we had turned around and heading home there was no stopping us. We decided we were vacationed out and the weather was just not cooperating so why not be at home vrs parked in a camper van in the rain...Two days of pretty intensive driving interspersed with a very cold night in a northern Idaho State Park has put us close to the finish line.....I made a list of the top 20 memories of the trip last night-reviewing them puts a smile on my face..... We covered a lot of ground and saw many wonderous things but life on the road has it's shortcomings....I need to get from behind the steering wheel to another vantage point to fully appreciate what we have accomplished...I have a few regrets around missed opportunities to stay a little longer and explore a bit more but for the most part I am very satisfied with the vacation.

This morning the temperature was probably about 40 degrees when we woke up with lots of moisture in the air....we followed our RV rituals for departure from camp sites and started up the van. Being 30 years old and a bit worn out "Big White" complained a bit about the cold weather start up by providing us with a mechanical serenade from his lifters being past their prime and not receiving the life giving engine oil fast enough initially (oil cold and thick) ..lots of tapping noises that probably took 5 minutes of driving to quieten. Our van was a little stiff this morning to say the least but he delivered by providing reliable transportation for nearly 400 miles through a variety of weather conditions including snow and very low hanging clouds in the mountains.

It has been an adventure for sure....brings back memories of driving my Volkswagens through the mountains in the 70's and not sure they were going to make it....but always arriving home with some stories to tell...

More to follow.....

I am home again sitting in front of my computer "catching up" with my correspondence and what has been happening in the world. I have a list of "must do" items to tackle including the unpacking of the camper van and the storage of all things camping related. To be honest I am a bit reluctant to take on the task as it will mean the end of the camping season and more importantly my life on the road. Of course life at home is much more "comfortable" and convenient but there is something special about living in compact quarters with the bare essentials that makes one appreciate simplicity and function.

When I arrived home I sat in the van for a few extra minutes and "honored" his service to us over the past few weeks. "Big White" performed flawlessly and only required a bit of tweaking on occasion to fix a few minor problems. I gave him a 60/40 odd of making the trip without some kind of repair and the performance proved to me I had underestimated the potential reliability. 

We experienced a rather severe storm late yesterday afternoon resulting in our power going out for over 12 hours-an unusual circumstance for sure. We lit some candles and used our "headlamps" to read by. External circumstances dictated how our evening would play out....we adapted but called it quits by 9:30 and turned in for the night...

Last week for the first time in a number of months I laughed until tears started rolling down my cheeks, The event that that created this wonder state of being happened while I was on vacation and I would consider it to be one of the peak experiences of the whole adventure. Other emotions were also experienced on an intense level. In fact the whole vacation has an essence of extremes that is quite fascinating for me to contemplate in retrospect.  

I am presently reading a book on dreams. The book came from a good friend as a gift which I very much appreciate. Last night I lounged on my couch covered by a comforter and read. As the pages turned I began to realize how timely and important this gift was. Some questions have already been answered that I have been pondering for a while and I am only a couple of chapters in. I am deeply moved when this kind of interface happens-the universe provided.....

I think it is possible to live vicariously through others by viewing the numerous travel blogs that are posted on the Web. I came across a RV lifestyle blog and spent some time yesterday getting caught up in all the wonderful adventures people are embarking on.... and documenting...

I have shifted gears and started to record my dreams in a journal. Like other endeavors I have undertaken I have lots of initial enthusiasm with a hope I can stay disciplined and continue to record dreams for my own analysis and growth.... it has been an interesting ride so far.....

Reviewing journal entries from the early 1980's through to 1996-Interesting read-what was important then is still important now. Some insights received-gotta work somethings out...

I spent some time yesterday contemplating how I would like to spend my time over the next few months. Being a dreamer and planner I ran through a bunch of scenarios for fun, I also threw in for good measure some of the constraints and challenges that I am currently facing. The resulting feeling of internal chaos was intriguing to say the least.

For about the last 3 years I have been contemplating future possibilities in a big way-running scenarios. Intrinsically I know this is the "mental trap" of anticipation and potentially a waste of energy but I do it anyway. I tell people that it is like assembling a large puzzle-I have some of the pieces but not all of them and I like to try and complete something whole from a path forward perspective.

Yesterday I had coffee with a friend. He had called out of the blue and suggested we share a brew and catch up which was great. He is very self directed by nature and I believe leads his life based on what is good for him personally. He is an interesting role model from the perspective that he is reluctant to compromise and those close to him understand his need to self actualize. He has shared examples from his life that clearly illustrate this quest. After we met I contemplated my own life and how I am doing in the "self actualization" arena? I figure there is a ways to go yet....To illustrate this I was going through some old journals a few days ago and found a "report card" that I had drafted on key areas of my life and how I figured I was doing. The entry is dated 1996 so 13 years have passed. As I went down the list I realized I had not made much progress in a number of areas-this discovery was a bit disturbing and after my coffee yesterday I started to analyze "why"  I was in this state of being!!! Real and imagined constraints perhaps? Not setting appropriate priorities? Holding back when it might not be appropriate to do so? Rejecting opportunities based on a number of factors or even not being aware of the opportunities being offered (huge), too much navel gazing and not enough doing etc etc etc......

Interestingly it doesn't usually happen until I have "painted myself into a corner" and realize instinctually I need to "shift gears" to move on. I sometimes proactively do so and that happens after much deliberation and "fact finding"... Fundamentally I embrace the concept of change and realize the importance of shifting gears when something is no longer working or new horizons beckon.

A few days ago my wife and I sorted through our CD collection-this action was taken from a position of necessity based on the fact we had fundamentally lost track of our collection. Over a couple of months time (since the last sort) CD's had been removed from cases, played and "sometimes" not returned resulting in our cabinet looking disorganized and chaotically messy. It took a couple of hours to sift through everything but one of the wonderful end results was a stack of little played CD's that had been rediscovered. We put the player on "shuffle" and enjoyed the music immensely throughout the day. 

Just back from vacation I am now searching for the "next hit"-the next place I want to visit.  It looks like I need to be "topped up" again. Given the broad range of travel experiences over the past year I would anticipate my focus would change? Nope-doesn't appear so...........

Yesterday while walking my dog Lilly I came to the conclusion I have set up a roadblock (or a series of road blocks) to fully exploring my creativity and to be honest I am not sure why? I realized on my walk that this state of being somewhat creatively stifled is actually impacting my energy levels.

The couch discussion this morning revolved around enabling creativity-individual expression. Basically doing the work and being open to the stimulus. Illuminating for sure but somewhat unsettling. Some friction experienced and some resistance felt-an interesting internal response.

Yesterday I experienced a sensation of being lost and I hadn't even left the house. A sense I had taken the wrong path and ended up in the dark part of the forest so to speak! The part of the forest I seldom visit yet I knew existed. As I glanced around the unfamiliar surroundings I realized my predicament and experienced a feeling of anxiety. How did I get here? 

A couple of days ago I saw the DVD "Word Play" a movie about an annual crossword puzzle tournament-the players, background, lead up etc. It was an amusing exploration of a subject I know little about. I personally have no interest in solving crossword puzzles (at least at this point in my life) but an interview during the movie a well know politician provided me with an interesting piece of information that I found valuable.

Over the past few days I have been cleaning out my garage in preparation for installing a gas fired overhead heater. I came to the conclusion this was the right direction to go in by "centering"  and determining I need the utility of a heated garage to move ahead on my sports car reconstruction. Given winter is so long around here I might as well have somewhere warm to work on my hobby. A good way to spend those cold winter days and evenings......Plus I get to utilize the government tax incentive for home improvement-excellent... 

Standing on the corner

At the moment I am going through some old storage boxes I took out of my shed to see what I need to keep and what can be "recycled". One box contained receipts and income tax records from the 1980's plus employee performance review forms from my previous employer. Interesting things to sift through but I had to ask myself why I still have them? The reasoning actually escapes me at this time so I spent a few hours shredding the contents. I felt good about doing so in one hand (getting rid of clutter) but I was also a bit saddened that a "record" of my previous life is now gone. 

Tonite my wife and I are attending a murder mystery party. I have a character to play (a playboy type) -so I will need to work on my costume today ( I have most of it determined). It has been a while since we dressed up in costumes so it might be a fun experience.