Last night my wife and I got caught in a sudden downpour while on a mid evening stroll in my mother-in-law's neighborhood. The rain had come and gone a couple of times earlier in the afternoon/early evening and we thought the front had moved through? Wrong! 

Conversation with my parents yesterday turned to the topic of having to set priorities to ensure one has enough "fun" and recreation in daily life. Of course what "often" gets in the way is our North American work ethic which dictates we work first and "earn" rest and recreation. My mother who is in her early 80's says she doesn't paint as much as she would like because she doesn't have time due to due to other things getting in the way....I think this has been a lifelong battle for her. 

TV sometimes provides interesting glimpses into people's lives. There is a show that documents airline disasters that I catch from time to time. Having travelled by air for most of my life I always marvel at the technology and the fact I am safely delivered to my destination. This of course is not always the case...

Our dog "Lilly" lives to go for her daily walk. The routine that we have fallen into revolves around leaving home between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. and walking for 20 to 30 minutes. If we don't leave before 7:30 she will seek out my wife or I and give us the "look". In her canine way she is prompting us to get her out walking. She patiently sits staring at us until we make our move. If we procrastinate too long she will start to moan like she is trying to talk to us. It is pretty hilarious to experience. Our dog gets us out walking and out into the neighborhood  which I am very grateful for...

I am a big fan of Chip Foose who is a car builder featured on the A&E program Overhaulin. He has won numerous awards over the years with his custom cars and is much sought after as a builder and designer. I enjoy the show because I get a sense he takes pride in his work and gets the job done with a minimum amount of drama. I have heard the comment made a few times on the show that what also sets him apart is his attention to detail. The extra few minutes spent on a detail makes all the difference in the look and feel of his creations. 

A friend came over yesterday and talked about a road trip she took with an 85 year old women whom she has recently befriended. At 85 her friend is very dynamic and independent and most importantly active and engaged with life. Apparently she lives by herself  in a corner apartment and whenever possible opens all the windows and lets the fresh air in. This is because she really loves being outdoors and spends as much time as she can outside. 

I was visiting a friend yesterday who has a grid-locked garage.It is an interesting situation to be in as he is experiencing some frustration around not being able to complete his existing projects because he has no room to move around or work in.

A new set of questions to ask myself. I believe I have a tendency to recycle my questions to myself without bringing new questions into the mix from time to time. Questions that might lead to a deeper understanding of my authentic self and my relationship to everything around me....

My internal debate around contentment vrs bliss continues. 

I try to walk my dog " Lilly" every night. In fact it has become so much of a routine that she "prompts me" if I become distracted and don't take her by a certain time. Our routine takes me out into the back alleys of my neighborhood. 

Metaphorically speaking? I think I "may" have painted myself into a corner and the paint I have used is very slow drying so I am not sure when I am going to be able to walk again on the newly painted floor ? Part of me is saying "good on you"-great opportunity for growth and reflection and part of me is saying "why me"? Let me go back to the way things were before!

A premonition has played out.....no stopping..no looking back.....

I am sitting here at the computer contemplating the ebb and flow of life. Connection and distance. The changing landscape of the internal garden. Reaping what one sows...

A friend and I had coffee yesterday and talked about aging parents and their "attitudes". A complex subject on many fronts and one I must admit I have been focused on lately. A lifetime of experiences can provide an excellent foundation for sustainability and even growth for an individual but conversely one's life experiences can create an emotional prison that is hard to escape from? How do people paint themselves into corners? There appears to be two camps: optimists and pessimists. It can be argued that people are born one way or the other and their life experiences build on their optimistic or pessimistic tendencies? The conversation yesterday provided some insights into how this plays out in those close to us... 

I have been feeling a bit "tense" lately. A bit unsettled. I am not dwelling on the feelings but I am aware of being a bit out of sync. Occasionally a sign pops up that gives me an insight or resource to that helps me put the puzzle together. 

I seem to be "daydreaming" a bit more than usual lately. It came to the forefront a couple of weeks ago when I was startled by a food demonstration person at a grocery store. She commented that I seemed to be far away and she apologized for interrupting my train of thought. The act of daydreaming often puts me into the zone but I wonder about what I am missing being "zoned out"? 

Our neighbor arranged an impromptu summer barbecue and potluck that was held last night on our close. Surprisingly most of the neighbors turned up as only a few were away on vacation. The affair was low key and everyone sat under a large willow tree that grows in our common area. It was a hot evening and the tree provided much needed shade. The topics varied and of course it was difficult to visit with everyone. Very enjoyable evening all around...

In the last couple of weeks I have exercised my "inner Jerry Steinfeld" a few too many times and come up with sarcastic responses to statements or questions. Sometimes it has been an automatic response other times chosen. Sarcasm often amuses but can also offend people depending on the context and delivery. There have been a few occasions when I would have liked to take back the spoken word but of course that is impossible. I often filter the sarcasm out of my day to day communication but sometimes I slip up and the words flow. 99% of the time I get away with it but the other 1% gets those close to me riled up.....they do not find it amusing.....

My neighbor is restoring a vintage Camaro and doing it right. Full disassembly and painstaking attention to all the details on reassembly. The car is going to be a beautiful example of automotive art and worth many thousands of dollars when complete.

My inner voice has been whispering to me lately about moving in a direction that will serve me in a holistic way. At this point it is a subtle whisper but I can anticipate the voice will get louder over time. I received some wise counsel from a friend that I believe gave me the framework for the next step. This was over a year ago and I have been very reluctant to exercise the option he provided and start walking down the path. Over the last few months I have been considering the ramifications-mulling over potential outcomes but not really sure if I am willing to make the commitment for change? For sure the seed has been planted......

On Thursday I spent a couple of hours 20 ft above the ground applying stain to the exterior woodwork on my parents home. The job went well and we are all happy with the outcome.....while I was up there I began to think about how quickly my life would change if for some reason the ladder became unsteady or I over-reached etc and fell to the ground.... Lessons started to play back in my mind about ladder safety and those shared stories about people falling off doing those day to day chores. I made sure the ladder was safely tethered and secure on the ground and of course was very conscious of over reaching. Non-attention also played into the equation-the whole aspect of what is natural and learned and therefore automatic crossed my mind and how easy it is to become complacent.....and distracted....

The topic of siblings came up while I was listening to the radio yesterday. One of the people being interviewed talked about the importance of the sibling relationship as you grow older (he stated the relationship usually improves) because traditionally you have less friends as you age as when you were younger? Therefore your siblings play a more important role in your social circle. The disclosure got me thinking about my own situation and what is happening with my social circle.

Yesterday we had a relative of my wife visit from out of town with her boyfriend. Over the past few years they have travelled extensively in Europe and the US and part of the conversational threads revolved around their travels and explorations. He was very enthusiastic about sharing highlighting their style of travel which seems to be one of openness to new experiences and exploring the back roads. Getting off the beaten path has taken them to some out of the way places and provided some excellent exposure to historic places and beautiful natural areas. A good afternoon of sharing for sure...

Today I took my road bicycle out for a short spin-first time this year!!! The frame was all dusty from a winter of woodworking in my garage and the tires needed air but in a short while I had things sorted and was riding-I really enjoyed myself!!!

Life and the resulting chaos creates drama sometimes. (maybe all the time?) that cause ripples in my sense of well being if I over-react to what has, is or may happen to oneself or others? The drama grows like a weed and chokes out all the other great things that are growing in the internal garden and it is very important not to let this happen. I find drama takes on a life of it's own unless parameters are placed around it and fences are set up so the "drama weeds" don't grow uncontrollably. 

Yesterday I went through the reading material that sits on a shelf in my bedside table. There are currently 16 books stacked up and so far this summer I have not read much so the books just sit gathering dust. The list is as follows: